THE MENTOR

CASEY RADLEY

"I created Aspire Mentoring based on my personal experiences as a young girl – a young girl trying to find her place in the world and trying to conquer all of her ambitions. Aspire is a programme relevant for girls from all different walks of life... after all, we don't all walk the same journey, but it doesn't mean we have to do it alone."

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I grew up in Auckland’s North Shore after immigrating to New Zealand from England with my family when I was 6 years old. I am the youngest of 3 siblings (6 and 8 years younger than my brother and sister) and we are all very, very different. I have two of the most amazing people in the world as my parents, who have been together for over 35 years now and have been the most supportive and loving people in my life.

 

From the word-go, I've wanted to do everything... a trait I still hold now. I've been a Brownie, a Girl Guide, a dancer, an actress, a school leader, librarian, model, student representative, I've won speech and dance competitions, top of team awards, top of house awards, top in dance and drama and more... all added to my collection of successes at an early age. I've never wanted to miss out on any opportunity or say I never tried.

 

But one of the hardest things for me to understand, even today, was how and why I was bullied so much. I moved to 7 different schools growing up and I could never seem to fit in. I would try to slot myself into circles of friends around school and was harshly turned down every time. It seemed funny to most girls, inviting me to Birthday parties and running away from me was all just a mean game. After a while, it hurt. I'd be called names at school, punched against walls, laughed at and even had food thrown in my face. The bathrooms became my 'spot' to eat lunch, where I wouldn't be picked on and I could escape it all. I'd beg my parents to not send me back to school, crying every night... the teachers offered me no support and I sometimes hid in classes until the school bell rang and I could run to my next class. 

 

If it wasn't for my family and a couple of key friends I made outside of school, I'd have been consumed by it all. When your daily environment makes you feel like an outsider, it's hard to not be effected. My self-confidence and self-esteem was low, I felt like there was something I wasn't doing right. I changed the way I dressed, the way I talked and I did anything I could to try and fit in with the crowd. It was exhausting trying to be someone I wasn't. I wanted to stop working so hard, give up my goals and activities and simply take a back-seat. I tried misbehaving in school to look cool and got myself some decent detentions. But with the advice of those key people and that small voice inside me, I made a choice. I stood up for myself. I realised there was nothing I could do to hurt these bullies back and I refused to do them what they had done to me... so I worked even harder. 

 

I was not only working hard out of school, but I worked had to try and get good grades in school and I recognised for it with one or two awards. I continued to dance my heart out and got better and better, I tried to block out the opinions of others and consequently became a bigger and better person day by day. Going to school was still hard, but with every intention of getting through school without so many tears, I gave it my best shot every day of being the person I would want to be friends with. 

 

At 16, I competed in Miss Teen New Zealand and won. I found pageants as a way to dance, model and to make that little voice inside me be heard by all. I flew to America and competed in Miss T.E.E.N World, winning Miss T.E.E.N Congeniality by my peers, knowing that I was able to make friends at an international competition and have them vote for me as being the kindest and friendliest, reiterated that there was nothing wrong with me. From there I won Miss Queen of the World NZ, Miss Tourism Queen Ambassador of Oceania and most recently Miss International NZ, coming 2nd Runner up at the international competition in Japan, were I also was nominated Miss Friendship by my peers!

 

I've been recognised for my hard work over the years and it has really paid off in many different ways. That strength I found inside of me in school had developed further and further. I was the bigger and better person and even though the words of bullies and their actions still hurt me, I didn't let it define me.

 

I have become able to communicate my beliefs with others and have met people from all around the world who I have been able to connect with, even though have grown up in very different places and experienced very different things. I paved a pathway that has become bright and challenging and I love that I was the one who was able to make it happen.

 

I've experienced successes and I've experienced failures. Everything has had an impact on who I am today but I've been able to choose how to let it effect me.  I see so many young girls going through the same things that I did... but that inner voice and the strength to stand against the tide needs to be taught to them. It's not easy, but nothing worth the effort is. 

 

I am a student, I study hard and invest in my education. I am a young lady who makes mistakes, who is trying to learn more about herself and trying to make a difference small steps at a time. I am an employee who works hard to pay for things I need and want. I am a sister, a daughter, a friend and a person just like anyone else. I am not a fictional character who a younger girl would find hard to relate to. I am certainly not perfect and I like to remind everyone and even myself, that you don’t have to be perfect to be a role model. For these main reasons, I believe I am an approachable role model to girls, who will be that 'someone' to relate to beyond mum or dad. 

 

I've created Aspire because I'd hate for any girl to go without the same support and advice that I did and for negative experiences, whatever they may be, to define who they are. I want to try and connect girls together in a way that means they have a better youth experience than I did. I want to ensure they are not dependent on one person, which many other mentoring programmes focus on, but ensure they have a group of girls their own age that is there to support them, give advice and build friendships with. When you can surround yourself with like-mided people, you can really succeed. We all have qualities within us that we should want to celebrate and I aim to acknowledge its' beauty in every single one of us. 

 

I am working towards completing my double major in Media Studies and Psychology, am registered for Mentor Plus and Mentoring Matters Certificates with the NZ Youth Mentoring Network and have been successfully vetted by the NZ Police. I have individually mentored younger girls for the past 2-3 years and have decided to extend it into a programme for girls.